Guy_Smitty's Xanga

Monday, December 17, 2007

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 13:23:22 GMT

I don't know what happened to my page! It got infected somehow by clouds and cows! This doesn't make me mad or sad though!
EDIT: The cows have unfortunately disappeared. :(

In other news, New Jersey votes today to abolish the death penalty. Hoepfully this will be the spark igniting other states to follow.

USA TODAY
The bill passed the Legislature largely along party lines, with controlling Democrats supporting the abolition and minority Republicans opposed.

"It's simply a specious argument to say that, somehow, after six millennia of recorded history, the punishment no longer fits the crime," said Assemblyman Joseph Malone, R-Burlington.

Republicans had sought to retain the death penalty for those who murder law enforcement officials, rape and murder children, and terrorists, but Democrats rejected that.

"A thorough examination of the state's death penalty system has revealed it for what it truly is — a colossal public policy failure that wastes taxpayers' dollars and diverts valuable resources from proven crime prevention measures," said Larry Cox, executive director of Amnesty International USA.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Wed, 16 May 2007 18:45:52 GMT

I hung out with an old friend last night. I see him occasionally and its fun. We talked about the past and the wild times we had. Over the years, my views on things have grown much more liberal whereas his have stayed the same, more conservative. Anyways, our conversation headed into deeper waters and it seemed like a decent conversation. We had differing oppinions on many things. However, everytime I would say something, my friend seemed to think that I wanted help, as if I was deep;y struggling with these issues as opposed to having already accepting them. Thus, he would answer accordingly and try to lead me back. Whatever he thought, at the end of the conversation, he said, "I hope this answered some of your questions." I replied, "What questions? We were just talking." We were both stuck in our mindsets and either way, at the end of the night my friend probably went home thinking I was some lost soul and I went home thinking my friend was disillusioned.

I just want something real. Too much of what I've grown up believing and living wasn't. Give me some truth, something real(ity).

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 14:06:36 GMT

I think my life sucks! The realization of that is key!

EDIT: 4/20 Decemberists tonight YAY! the unsucky part of it all!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 15:02:10 GMT

I guess I was thinking the other day out loud with a friend. Kind of went something like this:

I've been feeling lost as of late and it's not because of the onset of LOST the tv show at our house lately. It has to do more with who I am as a person. I've been struggling so much with identity. I feel like I'm at this point in my life of uncertainty along the lines of what I should be doing. Half of me feels like I want to be young again and just do things without regard. This doesn't mean throwing out responsibility because I know I can't go back to those days, if they ever even really existed. The other half of me wants to be making a living with a family at my side. I think what it boils down to mostly is that I'm not exactly happy where I am, and I'm not so sure I want to change it. Although, I'm pretty sure I will, and it's just the act of doing it that is so hard. Wish me luck!

The other out loud conversation with a friend went like this:

I'm not so sure I am happy being a Christian right now. Sure, I believe in God, the holy trinity and all that stuff and I am actually enjoying attending church at the moment, but there is something that doesn't feel right about being a Christian at the moment. I explained myself to a friend and it was quite confusing and hopefully this is less confusing, but here it is. There is God, and he is working all the time, though much of it we don't see. What we do see is amazing, whether it's spiritual or physical. Mostly what we see is the physical if you believe in creation. So God created all this stuff and did all these things, and yet none of it was Christian or even in the name of God. True, God did these things for himself/herself but it was just an act of who he/she is. I began to think of the things I am doing, and even moreso, I began to think of what it means to be a Christian. It was all these rules and different things I was supposed to do and most of them were not me. I was feeling a total sense of displacement in the church and as a child of God. It was as if I couldn't be myself and be a Christian at the same time. I guess to conclude things a little, I decided I need to live as myself. This doesn't mean I am living for myself as a selfish man. What it does mean is that I am going to do things in a fashion that's my own. The hard part about this is that the church and many Christians can't accept this. This is exactly what is giving me that lost feeling, and it is not right. Even though I am doing things in my fashion (who I am), I am living in light of what God has done for me. My life is then a unique response to God and not some uniform Christian saga that we all know the ending to. I don't know if that makes sense at all. My friend seemed to say something that hit home, "God doesn't want Christians, he wants people!"

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 18:05:09 GMT

An Answer, Perhaps

So I've been going to this new church lately. It seems pretty cool. The pastor is this really nice guy with tattoos down his arms. The music is good. All and all, its a very hip church with families and kids and all types of people. The feel is very modern. However, even with all that, their theology remains on the more conservative side. This has turned me off a little bit. It's interesting how the people that make up a church can be really cool and awesome and right on with a lot of things and how they can become a church. It's even more interesting that even though they can be the church and you could be a part of it, that you might not like a lot of the teaching that happens on Sunday.

This brings up a question that needs to be asked: Is it worth going to a church if you fit in but don't agree with the teaching on a lot of points?

I'm not sure. I would say that it is worth going. For one, you will never find a church that you agree with 100% of the time. On top of that, the teaching can then inspire conversation and be good discussion topics with the church. It will make you think and could actually grow the church. That seems to be a major purpose of Sunday church. Because yeah you want to learn but learning seems as though it should come more from a teacher (mentor) than a Sunday sermon.

Sure you can learn from the sermon but to really learn comes from getting your hands dirty with the teacher. It means struggling in thought with teacher. It means learning hard lessons along with the easy ones. It means following him and doing as he does.

So yeah, church is great, but we can't forget to learn, to be taught.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 14:45:13 GMT

Things of the past weekend.

1. I got a little cold. suck!

2. My girlfriend and I officially broke up. Suck! But I feel good, not too bad. It's better than being on a break. A little excited actually, who knows what the future holds?

3. I think I might be anorexic. Not on purpose though. I mean I eat when I'm hungry and I eat until I'm full. It's just not a lot.

4. Hopefully I will get a mentor soon. There is someone out there.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 16:54:18 GMT

Well, I just recently went to my first funeral. Kind of surprising seeing as how I've been here for twenty-three years. It took place up in MI. It was my grandma. She took her own life. My connection to her wasn't great, but she loved me and I loved her. She has allowed me to excell in life by the world's standards, and for that, I am ever so thankful.

On a different note, my girlfriends sister just had a baby. There is much joy there.

There is something to be said about death. There is also something to be said about life. Emotions and thoughts begin to emerge out of both. Some good, some bad, but all seem to be natural. I find babies to be fascinating. Something new is created there. Yes, there is the physical aspect of the creation (sperm and egg), but something else gets created as well. Something that has never been before, something completely new, something has been created out of nothing. As an artist, this excites me more than anything. One day, I will collaborate with another artist and create one of the most beautiful pieces of art ever. One that will go through all the stages of life til death, and yet will last forever.

p.s. Some of you reading this may think you know many of my thoughts on kids. I mean how I hate them and don't want them. Well, I think my views have been changing over the past years and I've just been unwilling to accept them. I just hung on to what I'd known for so many years.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 13:06:36 GMT

Rrlationships suck! a lot of time and energy. why is it that breaking up is so hard?

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 19:42:21 GMT

What I've been listening to lately:

Early Morning Hymns by Old Canes

Peregrine by The Appleseed Cast

Drop Dead by the violet burning

Figure 8 by Elliott Smith

Escalay: The Water Wheel by Hamza El Din

Down the River of Golden Dreams by Okkervil River

Pablo Honey by Radiohead

Makers by Rocky Votolato

The Hardest Way to Make an Easy Living by The Streets

Scotland

Sun, 22 Oct 2006 19:09:26 GMT

I'm back from Scotland now, and it was absolutely a dream. I don't really know what else to say about it other than that, so here are some photos.

Edinburgh
The Edinburgh castle

A cathedral in Edinburgh

The Balmoral Hotel at night

And just outside the hustle and bustle of the city lies Arthur's Seat, the highest point in Edinburgh.
at the base or somewhere thereabouts

At the very top

At the top on the edge looking over Edinburgh

From Edinburgh, my uncle and I moved West to Glasgow. I wasn't all that impressed with Glasgow. Don't get me wrong, I still loved it but it didn't have the same cool hipster feeling of Edinburgh. It was definitely more city like with a lot of newer buildings and a faster paced business world.
Glasgow
the door to the room we stayed at in Glasgow

an old sweet building in the city with a war memorial in front of it

The Glasgow Cathedral (quite impressive)

the coolest part of Glasgow was this place called the Necropolis. It's an old cemetary with incredible headstones and monuments of quite impressive stature. It's built on a hill so the monuments just keep going up and up with many layers.

my uncle and the immense headstones. The stories on the headstones were just as equally impressive. Some telling of great deeds and some of great sorrow. Many of them had stories of 8-10 children all dying before their parents anywhere from birth to their twenties.

After Glasgow, we headed up north into the hills. Our base was Fort William. This was my favorite part of the trip. We spent about three days just hiking the hills. The days were long with physical activity, but it didn't matter due to the fresh air and spectacular views 360 degrees all the time.
Fort William (Glen Nevis National Park)
Ben Nevis (the tallest mountain in Scotland, 1400m) It doesn't look that high, but it really is. Also, it's the one in the background. The top of the hill in front is about halfway up the mountain in back.

The biggest of the falls on the way up

disappearing into the clouds, not mist or fog but the clouds.

At the top of Ben Nevis, the tallest mountain in Scotland. It was definitely a journey and freezing at the top.

A view down from under the cloud canopy. The hill below with the hidden loch (lake) is the hill from the previous picture that's about halfway up the mountain.

Another view on the way down, looking the opposite direction

Another day we chose to hike out to the Steall Waterfalls. Here's some pictures from that.
the river valley which we traveled in to get to the falls

The valley again from further down

we ended up having to ford the river due to some unexpected cattle in the way. I wouldn't have minded passing by the cattle because they seemed nice enough, and I got pretty close. However, in the end and upon further investigations of those horns, we decided crossing the river was our best bet. Plus, we didn't want to tick off the farmers.

in the middle of some forest

looking at another forest (this one kind of reminds me of the beginning of Gladiator when they are fighting the barbarians)

the falls from a distance

getting closer

the bridge to get to the base of the Steall Falls

at the base of the falls

They were truly magnificent.

We also headed up even further north to Inverness. Some quick photos of that. To get to Inverness, one must drive right past Loch Ness. The monster evaded us but we got to see some truly remarkable things.
Inverness and the Loch Ness
the castle at Inverness / it wasn't as impressive as some of the others because it was built because the old one was blown away by the Jacobites I believe. Anyways, it hadn't seen battles and was mainly built for the tourists I think. It's in the background

The Smiddy Cafe out by Loch Ness

some hills and fog by loch ness

hills, fog, sheep, and the Loch Ness

the remains of Ulquart Castle on the Loch Ness

The trip was absolutely amazing. It was a dream. I can't really believe that it actually happened yet. Here are some short poor quality videos that my camera took.